ex·cerpt
[n. ek-surpt; v. ik-surpt, ek-surpt]
Show IPAThis is an excerpt from a book that I'm writing. The characters have no names as of yet, but they have personalities. I don't know the setting just yet, but they all have homes. I don't know the ending, I don't know the beginning, but it's narrated by four females. Best friends. Sisters. It's a work in progress...ENJOY.
"... I like him. A lot. So much that I'm questioning myself, asking: is this love? Is this real? I'm acting totally different these days. I find myself smiling when I'm alone. Somehow, I'm always bringing him up in conversations with the girls, wanting to invite him to my work events, cooking what he likes the most dessert and all, thinking about what makes him happy, and how I can surprise him. I grew fonder after every talk, after every date, after every hug, after every kiss, after every orgasm.
He seems perfect in every way possible. So perfect that I'm now questioning him: What the fuck is wrong with him? Does he really exist, or am I dreaming? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. But I'll tell you what I do know:
He cares. He makes me feel wanted. He likes me for me. He tells me I'm beautiful inside and out. He asks how my day was in all sincerity. He listens. He thanks me for my kind gestures. He comes over late at night, not for my sex but for my company. He's interested in what drives me. He works. He plays. And up until now, he's done nothing but make me feel like I'm the only girl in his world that matters. It's like a classic Disney fairy tale.
Today was the day I wanted to express my feelings to him - to tell him how much I value his honesty and our "relationship". Today was the day I wanted to explicitly know what was on his mind - What he thought about me, about us; if he felt the same as me about life - lucky.
But today, everything changed.
I've never been afraid of the truth. Maybe the truth being brought to light, but never the truth itself. When people know the truth, they then have the option to deal with the monster that's in its face as opposed to fearing what they really don't know to be present...in the dark. I always try to tell the truth. It was a rule instilled in me since I can remember. Not to mention the fact that God says: thou shalt not lie. I wanna go to heaven. Dont we all? Today, I faced the truth. It was right there in front of me. If I wanted to, I could touch it. It answered, bluntly, without me even asking all the questions I wanted to ask, that he definitely does not feel the same way I do. And it hits me like a tidal wave. The kind that strikes when you're conveniently far from shore, no one around to help, the buoy's not long enough to reach, and you can feel yourself drowning.
Today, I saw him; And her; Together; Their wedding bands; Holding hands; making googly eyes; Laughing; Smiling; And that look in his eyes that says: wait til I get you home. Time stopped. Everything moved in slow motion.
And then came the kids.
Running. Two of them.
A tall, fit, boy, who looks like a future wide receiver, and the cutest little girl I've ever seen. The kind that could easily grace a Gap Kids ad, who'll grow to be a successful model, effortlessly; making her daddy proud. Immediately, my flood gates break; filling my eyes ferociously with tears. At this moment, I feel the same way New Orleans felt when Katrina came to visit - unprepared and overwhelmed. Today, I faced the truth. And for the first time in my life, I'm afraid.
I was wrong about him. He's not what I and every girl long for: a knight in shining armor, different than all the others, honest, considerate, devoted.
Here's something else I know: By no means was he ever and is no longer my Prince Charming. For Prince Charming would never take Cinderella's pumpkin carriage and smear it all over her face ..."Thoughts? Comments? They're much appreciated.
Peace.
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